Starting new things makes it hard to write.
I have so much in my head that I could type up that I think everything gets congested. Like too much traffic or more cake in your mouth than you can chew.
I’m watching Elsie in the living room with Omar and Isse, the two Somali boys from upstairs. She’s teaching Omar how to add. Is 64 bigger than 51? No, not quite. Try again. Now Fallastine, their mother, just knocked and came in. She is twenty six—young to be the mother of three already. Her head is covered with a brightly colored scarf, and we talk about the blizzard outside. She holds Imron, the baby, on her hip like a sack of potatoes. He ogles at the bright part of the lamp, sucking on his fist and drooling, and the two little boys beg us for grapes.
I think about February as I sit here. This month is an accomplishing month. By that, I mean that I have a hearty to-do list I’m working through and hoping to finish before the 28th. Now that I’m more adjusted to working full time, I’m gradually feeling more room to get involved with other things. Naturally, I’m a starter. Unnaturally, I’m a finisher. I made some New Year’s resolutions that require some carrying through, however, so February has become the month of doing. Last week I joined a gym. This next week, I’m hoping to join a small group at church. I’ve been praying to the Lord about constructing healthier living, and I think these might be some key places to start.
One thing that scares me about working full time is the possibility of losing creativity. I’ve talked to several writer friends and artists who get home from an eight-hour shift and soon find themselves too exhausted to enter into their imagination. It’s beautiful work to be in that expanding, pulsing, colorful place in one’s mind, but it is work. And after sitting in a cubicle all day or answering a hundred emails, sometimes its a challenge to even manage a cup of tea and a movie. Something on my to-do list is to find a writing place and time–a pattern to stay in touch. I’m pretty determined not to forget my passions, interests, and obsessions in the midst of calendars and meetings.
Thinking about joy in work, creativity, and rest as I begin this week. How Adam was placed in the Garden of Eden to work it and create names for everything, and appreciate beauty.
Also, here is a bit of winter instrumental for you: